Parenting After Divorce, The Dos And Dont’s
Parenting after separation and divorce can be a nightmare for most parents. Whether it happened long time or yesterday, for the sake of your kids, you are not supposed to be anxious that your kid’s life is ruined. Take it easy as whatever will determine your child’s future lies in parenting after separation. What are some of the rules that will determine that the divorce doesn’t affect your child negatively:
- Accept the fact that you may fall apart
After divorce, the chances of you falling apart now and then are high and you should take it as a normal process when settling down to adjust. Divorce is the death of a relationship and just like any other human death, there is the grieving process which is normal. Feelings of sadness, overwhelmed, anger and less patient will always be there. Don’t expect it to be different with your kids; they will have moments of lows and highs which will include worrying about both parents too. Mum and dad’s house will now have different rules which the kids are expected to adhere to where they visit, it will definitely affect. Whatever happens, don’t disclose everything about your split with your ex to your child as it will force a child into an adult situation which is wrong. Just let the child know that you are having a hard time, but you will come out of it with time.
- You Shouldn’t Forego Consequences Out of Guilt
Due to the divorce, some parents tend to skip disciplining their children because they feel guilty of what they have caused the child to undergo – a divorce from the other parent. This is dangerous as it might become a habit which might lead the child to develop some ugly behaviors as a result. The child is reacting due to stress, sadness or anxiety due to the split of the parents. The best thing to do as a parent is to remain consistent and hold the line when they cross the line.
- Don’t allow kids to over functions:
Parenting after separation is a tough job. You might find that your son now wants to take dad’s rrply just because dad is not available and start acting like an adult. Your daughter might develop into an overach ever or an underachiever. Don’t allow that. Let them know that, even though you are going through a rough time, they are still kids and you can still handle it.
- When you parent different from your ex:
This is one of the worst part of parenting after separation. You might find that, the rules you set out for the children are the opposite of what your ex expects of them when they go visiting him/her. The most important fact should be, you set rules and enforce them and make sure that the kids adhere to them when they are in your house, what goes on in the other house shouldn’t worry you, maybe that is what caused you to defer and divorce.
Do your best and make sure that your kids are well taken care of in the best parenting after separation atmosphere.